Words Can Make 2022 More Bearable (if you know what to look for)

One of the joys of a life in journalism is you get to enjoy the “sayings” of public figures – without regard to politics. Despite all the harsh words tossed around in the public arena, some gems can actually emerge – even those with a bit of a bite. Watching for those can make 2022 a bit more bearable. Let me share some examples from the past.

President Harry Truman was the master of telling it like he saw it. After his controversial firing of popular General Douglas MacArthur due to insubordination, he famously told reporters “I didn’t fire him because he was a dumb son of a bitch, although he was, but that’s not against the law for generals. If it was, half to three-quarters of them would be in jail.” Truman’s wife Bess was asked if she could get him to stop saying manure. Her reply: “You don’t know how hard it was just to get him to use that word.”

From that same era, failed presidential candidate Adlai Stevenson said “I will make a bargain with the Republicans. If they stop telling lies about us, we’ll stop telling the truth about them.” A lie? Former Secretary of State Al Haig said “That’s not a lie. It’s a terminological inexactitude.”

President Ronald Reagan quipped that “one of the most important rules in politics is poise – which means looking like an owl after you have behaved like a jackass.” President Dwight Eisenhower cautioned that “sweet praise is like perfume. It’s fine if you don’t swallow it.”

Storytelling is a form of humor used by Presidents Abraham Lincoln and Lyndon Johnson, as I point out in my memoir, With The Bark Off A Journalist’s Memories of LBJ and a Life in the News Media.

Former Treasury Secretary and Texas Governor John Connally liked to twist the old George Washington-chopping-down-a-cherry-tree-legend into a Texas tale. Connally pointed out George Washington’s father told his son they would have to leave Texas and move to Virginia after young George confessed he couldn’t tell a lie when he cut down a mesquite tree in their backyard. As his father put it: “You’ll never get elected in Texas if you can’t tell a lie.”

Or sometimes, a Texas politician can simply “twist” the facts. Agriculture Secretary John White was badly beaten when he ran for Texas Governor. His rationale: “Texans like the job I was doing as Ag Commissioner, so they voted overwhelmingly to keep me in this job.”

And the following quote was made in jest, but it’s a good ’un: Texas Supreme Court Chief Justice John Hill commented after he was soundly defeated in a race for Texas governor: “The people have spoken – the bastards!”

As 2022 unfolds and the harsh political rhetoric heats up, be alert for the little humorous gems that are sure to emerge and brighten your day a bit.

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Lowell Lebermann: And the Blind Shall Lead You

Photo: Texas Exes Scholarship

Don’t know if you ever knew Lowell Lebermann. Well, even if you did, you probably didn’t know many of the intriguing aspects of the complicated, witty, civic leader whose life was cut way too short. Many of us still miss him years after his untimely death and still tell “Lowell Stories” to this day.

Lowell was not always blind. A gunshot accident while in high school caused the loss of one eye, which he covered with a black eyepatch the rest of his life. The wound so severely damaged his remaining eye that he went officially blind while serving as student body president at the University of Texas. His disability obviously did not slow his education nor his achievements.

After graduation, his successes were bolstered – he admitted this – by marrying money – so much so, that he relinquished his seeing-eye dog and hired amazingly-bright, young men who served almost ’round the clock as his aides until Lowell’s death.

Lowell Story:

He contacted me early in his career to help him run for the Austin City Council. I quizzed him incessantly to determine if there was anything in his background that might cause a campaign problem. Finally, his patience wore thin. Lowell slammed the table and said “Damn it, Neal. You need to understand the biggest problem I have when I wake up each day is figuring out how to spend my wife’s money!” Nuf said. He hired me. He won the election.

He parlayed his wife’s fortune into business successes. He bought a Lincoln-Mercury car dealership. After doing quite well with that enterprise, he took the money he made from selling that dealership and bought another mega-money-making franchise, a Miller Beer distributorship. Ka-ching! Ka-ching! His business successes lasted, his marriage didn’t.

Lowell had a command of language that stood out among the more articulate and well-educated. And his memory was a thing to behold. His aides read to him constantly, even as he moved through political and civic leadership positions. He was in great demand, not so much for his money, but for his charismatic qualities and decision-making. His laughter was contagious. His humor was legendary. And he used his rapier-wit to good advantage.

Lowell Story:

One of his fellow City Council members was Berl Handcox, the first African American since Reconstruction to serve on the Austin City Council. Berl was the only black man serving on the Council during a time of racial tensions in Austin. During a particularly-tense discussion that included some pointed racial remarks, it was getting quite dicey and almost out-of-control. Someone referenced the fact that Berl was black. It got very hushed. You could only hear some who nervously cleared their throats. Lowell’s wit surfaced when he broke the silence and loudly piped up: “Black? Berl’s black?” The room roared with laughter. The tension was broken.

And yes, there are many more “Lowell Stories.”

Watch this oral history filmed in 1987 recorded for the Austin History Center.

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What's In a Name?

The State Comptroller of Texas

What’s in a name? Or, in this case, what’s in a title? Maybe it’s, how do you pronounce a title?"

The State Comptroller is one of Texas’ most important statewide offices. The office has many significant functions. But, just consider one – to get an idea of the office’s importance to all of state government.

Remember, Texas is a “pay as you go” state. No deficit spending, like they have at the federal level. Texas can’t print money like the Feds can. If Texas doesn’t have cash in the bank, it can’t fund anything. The Texas budget is all-important.

Also you need to take into account that Texas operates on a two-year cycle, since the Texas Legislature only meets in regular budget session every two years. So your legislators must decide two years out how much money it has to spend on state services.

The State Comptroller is the only state official who can say “this is how much money you will have in the next two years, no more. And, legislators, you can’t spend a penny more than that. Period. That’s it. Got it?”

Enough of the weighty stuff. Let’s get to the point I want to make. For as long as I can remember, there has always been a debate on: How do you pronounce it – COMPtroller or CONtroller? It’s been used back-and-forth, seemingly forever.

So it is not surprising that after GOP Gov. George W. Bush defeated Democrat Gov. Ann Richards, he set up a meeting with Dem. State Comptroller John Sharp in 1995. Obviously, they discussed matters of state. But then, something like this conversation took place:

“So, John, do you prefer to be called COMPtroller or CONtoller?”

“It really doesn’t matter, Governor. Whatever you would like.”

“Well then, what did Governor Richards call you?”

“She called me ‘Darlin’.”

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